Halloween is coming!

 So here are our top ten tips in the unlikely event you are chased by a crazed slasher. 

1. Run DOWNstairs, not up. 
2. Do not split up to search faster. Survival is not a race. Unless you're playing The World's Most Dangerous Game. 
3. Don't rest your head against doors. Knives are longer than you think.
4. Charge your cellphone before going to an abandoned cabin. 
5. If you think you have killed your assailant, go ahead and shoot them again. What else are you saving the bullets for?
6. Make sure to only hang out with people with looser morals than you. They will most likely die first. Plus, they have better parties.
7. If looking for a lost friend, don't look in dark rooms. Unless your friend is a rabid bat, they will likely be in a well-lit area. 
8. Yes, it's blood. Do not touch it, smell it, scream at it, or ask, "OH MAN, IS THAT BLOOD?" Yes. It is. Run away from it.
9. If your friends invite you to a party in an abandoned warehouse/mansion/island, think to yourself...."If the place is so cool, why is it abandoned?"
10. Eat a healthy meal before going to a spooky place. Most likely, the only foods available there will be talking deer heads, Meat Loaf, and comically huge sandwiches.